Word of the Day: Catheter… (TiV 2010, Part 3)

Sunday promised to be an interesting day, as we knew already knew that there would be no frisbee to be had. Therefore, everyone slept in and we took our time packing up to get out of the hotel before the 11 AM check out. Our room was surprisingly intact considering the strain that had been put on it the night before and we all woke up to look hazily around the room and try to remember why our buttholes ached in the way they did.

Somehow, my clothes had ended up scattered around the room and Chupps had curled himself up under the fitted sheet on our bed. Anyway, we slowly roused ourselves and took stock in the situation. Jake? Check. Hupps? Check. BANK? Check. Dead Pan Dan? Check. Huge? Check. Hmmm… I guess everyone else slept in the other room. Walked over there and deuced some of their cinnamon raisin bagels and shiz and then walked back. Walked back and forth a few times listlessly. Wait. Wait. Ten, eleven, twelve… someone is missing. Where’s Shane? All his stuff is still here… Does anyone remember seeing him around? Not answering his phone. Maybe he slept at the bungalow… Call up my ho… YO, Baby, you guys got Shane? Alright, thx anyway. Maybe he’s with the girls… BonanzaRae, you got a creepy 28-year-old? No, I know Jesse is only 22, I meant Shane. Oh well, thanks anyway.

A missing Shane, eh? This sounds like a job for Daphne! Daphne! Scooby-Doo! We finished packing up and Chupps and I got in a quick game of find the butthole while BANK checked out. Wait, what’s this? Young Sasha has a clue. Shane was last seen getting a car with the Titcombs you say? Rohre? What else, boy? Shane chugged a quarter of a handle before he left. OH BOY! A decision was made that the majority of the team would head to the airport while a select strike force comprised of Bold Craig, Sky Patrol Captain Hupps, Sasha the Bluer, BANK “The BANK” calderBANK, and Pressels searched for Shane at the Bellagio (Rohre’s last known location), and the Bungalow boy-toys searched for him at IHOP.

Apparently, all the bungle-bro’s heard that Shane was really into maple syrup and so they decided to look for him between the pancakes in their $5 all-you-can eat short-stacks at IHOP. Additionally, Smutko thought that maybe he was hiding in a large plate of hash browns and veggies, and, being the good friend that he is, agreed to pay $11 in order to be allowed the opportunity to look for him. What a guy!

We, on the other hand, headed to the Bellagio with heavy hearts, wondering where our incorrigible buddy might be. We talked to the bellhops and Chupz got them to send a page over the intercom asking for Shin Cladwall or some dude. Semi-luckily, we ran into Vehro, who had taken out a room at the B-lage, and with him were Lisa and… maybe Lauren (Yeah, I looked through the Five Staff Bios) who had been with Shane at one point. They remembered him as the unbelievably drunk guy. Good. At least he’s memorable.

Not knowing what else to do, we headed over to The Bank, the Bellagio’s happening night spot, to see if maybe Shane had gone there with some inebriated notion of finding BANK McBANK there. However, although we managed to get a really good pic of an elevator sign that read “BANK”, Shane was nowhere to be found and there was no one there to give us a hint.

We proceeded out front where we came across two police officers and had just begun to ask them about where we might look to find a lost pal, when Jeffers’s voice crackled in Hupps’s ear to let us know that he had just gotten through to Shane, and that Shane was in some random hospital up north, alive, although probably still drunk. After another 15 minutes, we finally got in touch with Shane ourselves and pulled a U-ey on Las Vegas Blvd. to go get him.

At last, we arrived to find Shane, unbelievably dirty, with a cut above his left eye, arms swollen from hand-cuffs, still wearing his hospital shirt, sitting in an Arby’s enjoying a sandwich without a care in the world and no memory of what had occurred.

Vegas Baby!