Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Beat it like a cop

So I've been thinking about ultimate a lot lately and just being able to watch has provided me with some insights. Perhaps not necessarily insightful, but hey that's what happens when you are half retarded.

I have often heard that there are two types of players. Those who think while playing and those that use instinct without thinking. I think a lot when I play and perhaps this will only be helpful for people similar. Perhaps others can think of this while not playing and later apply it to their playing.

When the disc is in your hands you can't turn it over unless you get stalled or call a timeout that you don't have. So the faster the disc is able to get between people the better. Right? This doesn't necessarily mean that you have to throw the disc faster, but instead focus on throwing on better angles. When throwing to a player cutting in the shape of the disc should not be OI but directly to the chest. While there are exceptions to this (defender is really hard inside) you should make it a habit.

When on offense recognize that you are being given an option and you should take it. Almost no defender is good enough to be able to shut you down completely downfield, instead they pick what they are most concerned about and protect it. Downfield you already have the advantage of getting to run a race to anywhere at anytime so exploit this further deficiency. The same is true for a thrower. You get to decide what throw you are going with and when you are going to throw it. You have the advantage.

However, in order to continue to be dangerous you have to be able to throw every kind of shape from any position. This takes some practice but is not unreasonable. If you are handling for this team you should have no problem with forehands and backhands with a mark on you. Most people have a go to throw for breaking the mark (I go high release because of my height) but you must develop the other throws. If I have been throwing high release breaks for a lot of the game the defense is going to wise up and try to stop it, but in order to stop that they have to give up a different throw. Now I can go to work on IO's and low releases.

Understandably it is hard for me to preach on fitness right now given my lack of working out and becoming horribly out of shape, but there are few things more important. That being said I start physical therapy in about an hour and barring specifically being told not to work out I am going to be working hard to get back in shape. If you want to join me I'll start letting people know when I'm at Henry Crown. Also it is much less intimidating working out with me then Wallace or Noah. So come out.

Random thoughts for now.

McMuffin Out

Monday, October 27, 2008

Dinger Dan, Get In on this Shit

Hoo de Hoo!
Fall Out '08 saw the G.O.P. Barack-O-Rama collapsed into an amorphous "Junk-Y" team, captained by Mrs. Bank and Rybones. Hop skip and a jump from the 5:20-6:00am departure from Chicago and we found ourselves early in Shampoo-Banana with Junk scattered across the archipelago of field-sites in Rantoul, Butthole of The Midwest. Our first three games were against SIU, LCC, and yet-to-be-acronymned Bradley College and all blended into a relative blur of UChicago preeminence in the air, endzone and relative focus.
Our crossgender game brought us over to the main fieldsy less (woo! tournament tent!) where we matched up against the Illinois split-squad team, "Z," in an environment slightly less protected from the waxing wind. Vet-dominated lines assisted by the zeal and height of Alex Freak-A-Zorn on the Cob, Red Sasha, and Willy Drop-Some-Goo. Our zone defense was spot-on, frustrating the Illinois Handlers and giving deep-deeps like Wallace, Noah, and MMMPHupps time to...wait for it...wait for it...wait for it...jump way hi and d the snot out of some swill.
The day ended with ordering some XL-p's from doms, passing out, and celebrating our 4-0 day at Brothers, a campus bar with lots of free beer, babes, and Broseph Stalin and and Samurai Huppz cornholing against/with each other and all-around doing lots of other embarassing things.

DAY II

You know what happens when you wake up early for a tournament? You get a first-round bye. Taste the flavors, Jiggity Junk. Some extra "stare at the wall time" and a couple more rounds of find-the-butthole gave the bicameral collapsation of Junk some extra time to focus on the fundamentals that would be necessary in performing well in Day II: Huck n' Z. Game one was against University of Illinois-Y, a jolly gaggle of chaps who learned early the battlefield on which this day would be played: throwing it real far and trying to get the other team to turn it over on their endzone line. Bulletproof. Junk leadership mistakenly instructed handlers to try and work it a little more, leading to our eventual slight demise.
Next game was against Wheaton. Hilights of this game were Dinger Dan rocking-out in some "get it off the sideline so Noah can throw it real far," and I think Noah threw a callahan. Fair and square. In the end, we rolled 'em.
Same with our halvsies game against IHUC-Black. The final point was a comedy of blunders with Red Sasha catching an into the wind triple-helix hammer, passed it to Ari who threw his first-ever inside-out forehand to Huppz for the score. Mouthwatering.

All in all, 6-1 for the weekend, 5th place at the tournament.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Pt. II

So after a night of partying by myself in the hotel hallway, I wake up at 7 am ready to rock some sidelines. A few games of 'find the butthole' later we were all in the car heading to the fields. After not passing any McCHRONIC I decide to drop the sweeties off at the fields and drive around looking for a grocery store. I find this sweet mom 'n pop's Walmart and grab some food and drank for the troops as I stuff a sausage biskit in my face. so delicious. I sound the battle horn and Sinbad sallys forth to the fields.

I get to the games to find that GOP has already won and Rama is still at the tournament. Rama was playing the other GOP in a close match of wits and chest hair. Broah drops the brohammer on two bros in one point getting the d's and sending some chumps to join in the injury revolution. Well all the broing in the world didn't help Rama as they lost in a most uncool fashion. Oh well. In John Kerry-esque fashion the teams flip flopped opponents giving rise the GOP v. GOP matchup no one was talking about.

After Rama's loosening the pickle jar, GOP walked over gop to the tune of 13-11. The game was often a battle of yards as the wind began to pick up across the Wisconsin wilderness. Frank mZonars channeled the demonic powers of the double GOP to crush the earth with powerful disc spikes. Man that guy has a good swagger. The team fought through fatigue with hard running and hard ons. BONER! HI FIVE!

As GOP pressed on they entered the mystical forest. There they came upon Hegolef, a most unholy dragon. After rolling a measly 4 the team was forced to run away. They met BANK's band of bearstronauts who decided to join the fellowship. Now with this alliance the team took on Iowa State. This horrible game was made bearable by Smutko getting a footblock and calling the dude a bitch. Yea fucking awesome. Then when Hupps d'd some dude who calls foul, Smutko responds with 'dude you're short. you got d'd.' This bulletproof reasoning didn't dissuade the chump but won the hearts of 'merica. With a 7-13 loss the team decides to blame Craig, but when we went to sacrifice him he was replaced with a ram. Fickle God.

Oh and Rama maybe beat the Pimpdagz. Who knows??

McMuffin Out.

Teh Party

No good. sry.

BIG BANG WISCONSEQUENCES

Our song is the slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talking real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

-Taylor Swift

So bingo bango Junk rolled X/Y to No Wisconsequences looking to compete in some epic games of 'which nut'. After spending the Friday night at an all night dance party in my room, alone, drunk, alone I loaded up Sinbad, picked up some n3wbs and started the trip. Get to the fields by about 7:45 only to find that the rest of the team is made up of truant retards. So once everyone else gets to the field we do a headcount and find out Red Sasha isn't there. Well fuck. Turns out Sasha was trying to break 12 parsecs on the Kessel Run and ended up doing eight donuts on the interstate. Having interrupted my party I hop back into Sinbad and pull a hundo on my way back to get those chumpers. Apparently GOP lost but played a good first game and Barack-O-Rama probably lost. Who cares?

Second round saw GOP play against Western Michigan. A bunch of big dudes but not really the most inspired play. Well shit GOP played pretty hard and was down by one at the half. After a rousing half time speech ala 'Independence Day' GOP rallied to a loss. nuts. Rama probably lost. Does anyone care?

Next round was GOP battling Milwaukee School of 'Just Happy to Be Here'. Just like what happened to the dinosaurs, GOP raped those dudes. Roundly routing them with a score of 13-5. But hey those guys were just happy to be there. Game highlights include pretty Sasha needing to take a minute before he could stand up after seeing that there were girls on the other team, Ryland swearing to cut Barack's nuts off, and Shane taking thirty viagras before playing a point with a huge rager. BONERFEST!!! Um maybe Rama was still playing. Not sure.

So if that wasn't enough turns out GOP had another game. This game would see the children of the moon playing against Dayton. After 15 minutes of making jokes using the whole dayton 'dating' pun we took the field. This game dragged on as fatigue and drunkeness started to hit the sideline. Well GOP simply turned the disc over too many times and didn't get enough d's to make up for it. Not too many times you're going to win when that happens. So with a final of 10-13 GOP packed its bags and went to go to the hotel. Rama Lama Ding Dong.

But wait why not have a fifth round. Huzzah Cultimate. Tired, confused, and without underwear we found our competitors and started the final round of the day. Grinnell which features notable alum Josh "Up Top" Brody served as the canvas for GOP's fingerpaint masterpiece. The usual bipolar shennanigans of GOP gave way to a level headed, relaxed hydrobeast that soared through the sky to a 13-6 win. Rama won by default as their opponent never showed up. Congrats guys.

The team rolled over to watch snoopysnatch battle against Illinois. In an all too familiar fashion the ladiez lost in the hard cap. But hey at least the guys were there to be assholes. Wipe it on that!

Thus ended the journey on the fields for the day. More to come later.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Bip Bop Bump

And behold! He cometh with ten thousands of His holy ones To execute judgement upon all, And to destroy all the ungodly: And to convict all flesh Of all the works of their ungodliness which they have ungodly committed, And of all the hard things which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him.

-Enoch 1:9

Fearing the damage a unified front might bring about the University of Chicago men's team has split into two squads for the beginning of the Fall. Each squad is headed by an usurper captain (BANK and ryboxorghhh) and stocked with god's soldiers. So while both wookies and fetts wax up the field, it has become my duty to act as holy scribe.

This weekend the Golden Army will march north to the barren lands of Wisconsin for the first annual 'No Wisconsequences' hosted by cultimate and the Hoedags. The tournament is set to display some of the nation's top talent in teams from Madison, Carleton, and Colorado. While the splitting of the men's team has contained its eschatalogical potential, both teams will still bring some fire.

Barack-O-Rama

Headed by the fearless (read clueless) BANK CalderBANK, the team brings some wily vets and a cast of brooding youngbloodz looking to gain honor and fortune. Coming off a successful club season, Rawri Weitzman and Broah Goose look to keep up their winning ways. My guess is that lots of D's come from this pair as well as a bunch of deep honey passes. Zonars, Shane, and Dinner Dan bring style and nutz to the floor. Meat Alumni Huge, Big Mike, Ratchet, and Sasha look to show off the knowledge obtained from Old Schaef Kenobi. Finally fighting for the final teat are freshmen Meru(iner of Worlds), Mr. President Jefferson Davis, Alex Zorn on the Cob, and Michael 'la petit' Florian.

G.O.P

So apparently there is another GOP going to this tournament. Small world huh? THE CHICAGO GOP is being guided by the pederast Rycoohhhnnn. The team contains future doctor Spank who spent the summer playing with Lush (and himself). Craig, Smutko, and Jordan look to combine their powers to bring about exCaptain Fangboner. Sadly they will probably just get drunk and puke in the sink. Classic. Sasha the Younger is serious...seriously going to eat discs and spit hot fire. Jake Rasala, Charles, and Tall Nate come off of a year learning to drink, win friends and influence people under the tutelage of Bowdoin Dan and (my dick bends like a) Rainbow. Almost new to the streets Eric 'nicest guy in the world' Mayer comes prepared to play some frisbee with his dog and smile. Chris Allen leaves the confines of his sailboat (that's right I facebook...hard) to come find the solution to his landlocked blues on the ultimate field. Lastly and certainly least flirt years Seth son of Adam and father of Enosh, and Jake 'prison has made me a' Newman look to prove to be of some value besides their williness to drink anything.

Exiled Captains
Jesse 'Radio' Marshall and myself, Matthew 'McMuffin' Sibert, will be around helping in small ways that make us still feel like a part of the team. However, this will most likely just be snide comments we make cause we're petty and lack a desire to continue living.

Future Posts
Look for posts on getting pumped up, throwing discussions, ultimate strategy, and how high I can count (current personal record at 132).

McMuffin Out.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

University of Chicago Ultimate

Hey all,

Welcome to the new homepage of University of Chicago Men's Ultimate Frisbee. The U of C's men's ultimate program features over forty players on two teams, the A-team Junk and the B-team Meat. While the teams are split X/Y in the fall for tryouts, in the Winter and Spring the teams attend a variety of tournaments as far away as Georgia and Las Vegas. Last year Junk came in the middle of the pack at a very strong Las Vegas tournament, advanced to the Great Lakes Regionals tournament for the third year in a row and also came in seventh at the Division III nationals tournament held in Versailles, OH. We also have a women's team, Supersnatch, http://womensultimate.uchicago.edu/about.html who would love to recruit any women ultimate players out there.

Interested in playing?
Good. Tryouts are held in the beginning of the Fall (Late September in October) and will consist of 2-3 practices a week and several tournaments. Junk is intended for players with superior athleticism, disc skills and dedication throughout the year, which includes morning practices and workouts in the winter, tournaments in the Spring and practices year round. Meat is oriented to those with less time or experience for ultimate and is excellent training for newer players who want to play with Junk in the years to come.

What Next - Practices, Tryouts and Listhosts
If you are an incoming undergraduate or graduate students, our ultimate season will start practices the week of September 29th. Practices are held during Tuesday and Thursday afternoons from 3:30 - 5:30, so be sure to leave this wide open as you schedule classes [we realize that some conflicts, like discussions or BA seminars are unavoidable]. Weekend practice times have yet to be established. All practices and pickup will be held at Washington Park: http://tiny.cc/zMqgn.

However be sure to contact us before practices start. During O-Week (student orientation week), which starts September 20th we will be out throwing on Bartlett Quadrangle and the Main Quad. If you see someone with a disc, just come up and talk to us, especially Saturday the 20th. Pickup will also be held during O-Week, so check this Blog and sign up for the U of C Men's Ultimate Listhost: https://mailman.cs.uchicago.edu/mailman/listinfo/mensultimate. This is very important so I'll repeat it again: If you want to play frisbee here, sign up for the listhost: https://mailman.cs.uchicago.edu/mailman/listinfo/mensultimate. Also feel free to email the captains at chicagoultimate gmail [remove this].com.