BIG BANG WISCONSEQUENCES

Our song is the slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talking real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

-Taylor Swift

So bingo bango Junk rolled X/Y to No Wisconsequences looking to compete in some epic games of 'which nut'. After spending the Friday night at an all night dance party in my room, alone, drunk, alone I loaded up Sinbad, picked up some n3wbs and started the trip. Get to the fields by about 7:45 only to find that the rest of the team is made up of truant retards. So once everyone else gets to the field we do a headcount and find out Red Sasha isn't there. Well fuck. Turns out Sasha was trying to break 12 parsecs on the Kessel Run and ended up doing eight donuts on the interstate. Having interrupted my party I hop back into Sinbad and pull a hundo on my way back to get those chumpers. Apparently GOP lost but played a good first game and Barack-O-Rama probably lost. Who cares?

Second round saw GOP play against Western Michigan. A bunch of big dudes but not really the most inspired play. Well shit GOP played pretty hard and was down by one at the half. After a rousing half time speech ala 'Independence Day' GOP rallied to a loss. nuts. Rama probably lost. Does anyone care?

Next round was GOP battling Milwaukee School of 'Just Happy to Be Here'. Just like what happened to the dinosaurs, GOP raped those dudes. Roundly routing them with a score of 13-5. But hey those guys were just happy to be there. Game highlights include pretty Sasha needing to take a minute before he could stand up after seeing that there were girls on the other team, Ryland swearing to cut Barack's nuts off, and Shane taking thirty viagras before playing a point with a huge rager. BONERFEST!!! Um maybe Rama was still playing. Not sure.

So if that wasn't enough turns out GOP had another game. This game would see the children of the moon playing against Dayton. After 15 minutes of making jokes using the whole dayton 'dating' pun we took the field. This game dragged on as fatigue and drunkeness started to hit the sideline. Well GOP simply turned the disc over too many times and didn't get enough d's to make up for it. Not too many times you're going to win when that happens. So with a final of 10-13 GOP packed its bags and went to go to the hotel. Rama Lama Ding Dong.

But wait why not have a fifth round. Huzzah Cultimate. Tired, confused, and without underwear we found our competitors and started the final round of the day. Grinnell which features notable alum Josh "Up Top" Brody served as the canvas for GOP's fingerpaint masterpiece. The usual bipolar shennanigans of GOP gave way to a level headed, relaxed hydrobeast that soared through the sky to a 13-6 win. Rama won by default as their opponent never showed up. Congrats guys.

The team rolled over to watch snoopysnatch battle against Illinois. In an all too familiar fashion the ladiez lost in the hard cap. But hey at least the guys were there to be assholes. Wipe it on that!

Thus ended the journey on the fields for the day. More to come later.